I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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