I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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