just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't deserve a penis
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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