I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
