used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
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That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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