He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
