but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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