I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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