im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
