People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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