Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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