I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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