she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
