There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If its not for food we ain't going out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
