My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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