After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
