glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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