Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
