That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
