I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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