i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
