If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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