I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
