We're like a lot better than the average bears
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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