I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
