Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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