i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
