So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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