the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
