Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
