I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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