Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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