you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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