plz talk dirty to me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
