I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
