That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize