dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
