i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
