D3 body, D1 cock
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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