dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
