I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
