Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
