so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
