He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
