Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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