I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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