her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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