Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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