too bad you live with your parents still
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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