In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize