Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
