I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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