...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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