Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
