i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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