she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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