Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
