how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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