If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize