I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
