You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
