69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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