??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
