Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
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So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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