Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Randomize
